It has been about four months since I moved half-way across the world to be with the love of my life. Within three weeks of deciding to move, I had already landed a job, packed my bags, and was ready to start a new life in totally new world.
I was so excited to be closer to him, but I was also scared. I was scared my move would change things between us. While it is true that I can do pretty much anything extremely well (I’m actually not as boasty and self-indulgent as that last statement made me seem), I found it quite difficult to adjust to the new life I was living.
All of a sudden, I had a lot less time, and a lot more planning to do. I not only moved cities, countries, and continents, I also changed the way I work and even changed jobs twice and apartments three times since I have moved out on my own!
In my previous “job”, I was a freelance writer. I set my own schedule and I was my own boss. I spent pretty much all day talking to and loving my partner. This changed dramatically when I moved. I found myself working a full-time job as a writer where I had to meet other people’s deadlines and demands. Top that off with a crippling pile of dept due to the rather awful job I initially accepted to move here, and things were getting to a boiling point for me.
As soon as I began to face stressful situations, I started to crawl back into my own shell. Instead of asking him for help or even letting him know I was going through a tough time, I decided to act like I was on top of the world. The miscommunication I created caused my partner to feel unloved and uninvolved in my life. It was really difficult to hear from him how terrible my actions made him feel.
While we are in a long-distance relationship, my partner still visits me once a month for a few days. These few days are what I wait for all month long. He spent this last week with me again and I couldn’t believe how sad I felt when he told me how I made him feel. All I want to do is make him the happiest man in the world, and when I saw I was doing the opposite I decided it was time to check myself and renew my attitude.
As our week together came to an end, I found myself looking at him more, and watching him sleep. All I could think of was how much better, how much kinder, and how much more loving I have to be, because he deserves it. I would do the last four months a million times over if it meant I could keep seeing him for a few days every month.
